Fraiser (to Teal'c, whom O'Neill just knocked out boxing): "So you feeling any better?"
Teal'c: "I will be fine, Dr. Fraiser."
O'Neill: "Teal'c, I'm really sorry."
Teal'c: "You are not."
O'Neill: "He's right about that."

Anise (hands him a silver ball): "Please squeeze this."
O'Neill: "What is it?"
Anise: "It will measure your strength. (he squeezes the ball) Your strength is five times that of a normal human."
O'Neill: "So, no increase, then, huh?"

Anise: "What did you find?"
Daniel: "Well, nothing, but see, the point is... I can read really fast."

Daniel: "The inscription says, "With great power comes great responsibility."
Anise: "And the ability to affect great consequences."

Carter: "Well, all I know is I'm going to starve to death. I don't know about you guys, but I'm having some serious protein cravings."
O'Neill: "Steak."
Daniel: "I could go for that."
O'Neill: "Big, red, juicy..meat."
Carter: "O'Malley's in town..."
O'Neill: "Lets go."

Waitress: "What can I get you?"
O'Neill: "Um, three of the biggest steaks you've got, rare, with everything. Baked potato."
Waitress: "You got it." (turns to leave)
O'Neill: "Excuse me. That was for me."
Daniel: "Yeah, I'm going to have three as well."
O'Neill: "Four?"
Daniel: "Four. Four is good."
Carter: "Me too, and french fries with mine. Oh, and a diet soda." (O'Neill and Daniel give her a funny look)  "I like the taste better." (waitress leaves) "So has it occurred to anyone that we're defying a direct order?"
Daniel: "Well, it's not like we haven't defied orders before."
Carter: "Well, yeah, but that was to save Earth."
O'Neill: "Earth, steaks...there's a difference?"
Daniel: "We'll be back before anyone knows we're gone."

Hammond: "I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid."

O'Neill: "General, I can't tell you sorry we are, but, Carter wanted a steak..."
Carter: "Actually, it was your idea...sir!"

O'Neill: "Even if were not in total control, shouldn't we be out there doing the damage...instead of in your office?"

Hammond: "Jack, please...get the hell out of my office"

-Crossroads-

O'Neill (pretending to be humble): "Master Teal'c."
Teal'c: "I am in need of your assistance."
O'Neill: "I'm here to serve."

O'Neill: "I guess we should just mosey on back to Earth and tell General Hammond how the Tok'ra boned us again."

-Divide and Conquer-

Carter: "Janet..."
Carter (partially conscious,  flash back from Upgrades): "C4 is gonna go, you have to get out of here..."
O'Neill: "NO!!"
Carter (to Fraiser): "The machine is all wrong...You, you don't understand...we lied...we didn't even know we lied...please...

Carter: "We're not zetarks." 
O'Neill: "How do you know?"
Carter: "The machine thinks that we have false memories but we don't. We were lying. "
O'Neill: "I wasn't lying."
Carter: "Okay. You left something out. "
O'Neill: "No, I didn't."
Carter: "Sir... when you wouldn't leave me, are you sure there wasn't something else that you're not admitting?"
O'Neill: "What are you talking about? "
Carter: "Something neither one of us can admit given our working relationship or military ranks?"
O'Neill: "Oh... oh, that."
Carter: "Sir, we weren't telling the whole truth and that's why the machine thinks our memories are false. "

Anise: "What were you feeling? "
O'Neill: Like someone was about to die." 
Carter: "Sir...?" 
O'Neill: "I didn't leave... because I'd have rather died myself than lose Carter. "
Anise: "Why?"
O'Neill: "Because I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to."
Anise: "You are not a zetark."

-Window of Opportunity-

O'Neill: "Weren't we just somewhere else?"
Daniel: "Where?"
O'Neill: "Some planet."
Daniel: "When?"
O'Neill: "Just now."
Daniel: "No."
O'Neill: "Sure?"
Daniel: "Yeah."
O'Neill: "Everything just changed."
Carter: "Sir, we've been sitting in the commissary for the past half hour."
O'Neill: "Really?"
Daniel: "Although it is understandable how you could have gotten the two places confused."
Carter (looks at her watch): "We're going to be late for the briefing."
O'Neill: "Briefing?"
Daniel: "Are you okay, or are you just trying to avoid answering my question?"

Teal'c: "Major Carter, have we not previously been briefed concerning this matter?"
O'Neill: "I was just going to say that."
Carter: "Sir?"
O'Neill: "You want to go to the planet and set up some kind of remote observatory."
Carter: "Well...yes."
O'Neill: "We just did that."
Daniel: "No we didn't."
Teal'c: "I believe we did, Daniel Jackson."
Hammond: "No, Teal'c, that's what this briefing is about."
O'Neill: "I distinctly remember sitting here listening to Carter prattle on about solar activity and a corona...something."
Carter: "Coronal mass emissions. I was just about to bring it up."
O'Neill: "There you go. How would I know that?"
Carter: "Maybe you read my report."
Daniel (raising his eyebrows in disbelief): "Maybe he read your report?"

Carter: "Well, sir, when was the last time you heard Colonel O'Neill use terms like subspace field and geomagnetic storm? 
Hammond: "Good point."

Hammond: "You realize this is a little difficult for me to accept."
O'Neill: "Hey, if it was just me, I'd agree, but what about Teal'c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man?"

O'Neill: "I ask you, what could possibly be in my eye that would explain this?"

O'Neill: "You know the worst part about this? Every time we loop, Daniel asks me a question, and I wasn't listening the first time."

O'Neill (as he and Teal'c are hitting golf balls through an open wormhole): "How far is Alaris, anyway?"
Teal'c: "Several billion miles, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "That's gotta be a record."
Hammond: "Colonel O'Neill, what the HELL are you doing?"
O'Neill: "In the middle of my back swing?!"

O'Neill (handing Hammond a piece of paper): "Excuse me, George?" 
Hammond: "Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?" 
O'Neill (checking his watch): "Handing you my resignation." 
Carter: "You're resigning? What for?" 
O'Neill: "So I can do this." (Grabs Carter, kisses her, then dips her back into an embrace, as she wraps her arms around him and Hammond looks on in shock)

O'Neill: "Well, general, you know what they say. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again."

Daniel: "Let me ask you something. In all the time you were... looping, were you ever tempted to... do something crazy? I mean, you could do anything without worrying about consequences."
O'Neill: "You know, it's funny, you've asked me that before."
Daniel: "And?" (O'Neill stares at Carter. She smiles, then narrows her eyes suspiciously.
O'Neill smiles and takes another bite of oatmeal)

-Watergate-

Teal'c: "Do not humans usually die when they are frozen?"

Daniel: "Can we stop agreeing on how we're going to die, and start doing something about it?"

O'Neill: "Didn't you guys leave here in a submarine? "
Carter: "We... "
Daniel: "Last thing I remember we were being pulled into that... "
Carter: "Not really sure what happened, sir." 

O'Neill: "Here's a thought. We just exchanged hostages. It's just a thought."

-The First Ones-

Teal'c: "Trust in me, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "What if I'm not O'Neill? Teal'c: Then I was not talking to you."

Daniel: "Okay, I know it seems completely unlikely that you understand a word I'm saying, but I've gone about as far as I can go at this particular pace, so with your permission, I'm going to fall down now. Rest. This is a thing you should become familiar with. Rest." (The Unas growls)

Daniel (in cave with Unas): "Ok, lets play toss the dead symbiote head."

Daniel (taking out his radio): "This...this is, uh, nothing that you need to be worried about. This is a radio. It's so my friends can find me and shoot you."

Unas: "Ca!"

-Scorched Earth-

O'Neill (looking into the microscope): "Oh, yeah. Little fuzzy orange things."
Carter: "They're microbes, sir."

Carter: "The question is, will they listen?"
O'Neill: "No, the real question is, will they have ears?"

O'Neill (inside the ship): "Should we really be opening drawers and things? (Daniel opens a drawer) What did I just say?"

-Beneath the Surface-

Daniel: "I just thought... since, apparently, we're friends from way back, I just though that... what is that thing on your forehead?"

O'Neill: "I remember something. There's a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer."

Carter: "How do you stay so calm? "
O'Neill: "I think in another life I handled dangerous explosives, I don't know."
Carter: "What do you mean in another life?"

Carter: "Tor?" 
Daniel: "He said we were part of something called SG-1."
O'Neill: "Yeah, what is that?"
Carter: "A team? "
O'Neill: "What kind of a name is that for a team?"
Daniel: "I don't know. Look, I just think I'm supposed to be doing something more important."
Carter: "We're helping our people survive an ice age." 
O'Neill: "Yeah, what's more important than that?"
Daniel: "I don't know... Look, I just have this feeling that all of us are part of some bigger grander thing."
O'Neill: "Well, I certainly understand what you're talking about.""
Daniel: "You do?"
O'Neill: "No." 
Daniel: "I don't know how to explain this but I had this dream. You were in it."
O'Neill: "Me?"
Daniel: "There was this big glowing puddle."
O'Neill: "Okay. We stop talking - right now."
Carter: "Wait a second, Jonah. I had the same dream."

Daniel: "What if our memories have been somehow altered?"
Carter: "Well, if that's true, then we can't be sure of anything."
O'Neill: "My memory's fine."
Daniel: "Really?"
O'Neill: "Yeah." 
Daniel: "What did you do in the mines?"
O'Neill: "I mined!"
Daniel: "No, what did you do?"
O'Neill: "I remember shoveling ore into a cart."
Daniel: "And?"
O'Neill: "I did that a lot."

O'Neill: "I dreamed about mining...naked"

O'Neill: "What if we are night-sick?"
Carter: "I don't think so, sir."
Daniel: "What?" 
Carter: "What? "
Daniel: "You just called Jonah 'sir'." 
Carter: "Well, it's an expression. Isn't it?" 

Carter: "Lot of numbers and letters keep popping into my mind. SG-1. DHD. GDO."
Daniel: "Sounds like gibberish to me."
Carter: "Well, it must mean something."

Carter: "Just a lot of vague images. You know, there are things about this place that I like."
O'Neill: "Really?... Would it mean anything if I told you I remember something else?"
Carter: "What?"
O'Neill: "Feelings."
Carter: "Feelings?"
O'Neill: "I remember feeling feelings."
Carter: "For me?" 
O'Neill: "No. For Tor." (they laugh) "I don't remember much. But I do remember that."
Carter: "So..."
O'Neill: "So... I'm just saying. "
Carter: "Well then I feel better." 

Carter: "So...Colonel."
O'Neill: "Major."
Carter: "That bald man you were trying to remember?"
O'Neill: "General Hammond." 
Carter: "Right."
O'Neill: "He's from Texas, you know. It's all coming back."
Carter: "Yes, sir."
O'Neill: "Sir....Let's go home." 
Carter: "Yes, sir."

-Point of No Return-

Carter: "Does anyone know what this meeting's all about?"
Daniel: "No, but I hope it's important. I was right in the middle of translating the cuneiform tablet we found on P3O-255."
Carter: "I still have to finish recalibrating the MALP 3-K sensors for long-term reconnaissance on P5X-3D7."
Teal'c: "I was unable to complete my Kel'no'Reem."
O'Neill: "I was just about to do something important."

O'Neill: "Sounds like a good idea for a TV show. If you're into that sort of thing."

Carter (entering Martins house): "Oh boy.."

Martin: "So, you still don't believe me? I'm an alien."

Teal'c: The enemy of which you speak enslaved my people, murdered my father, and banished my wife and child from our people. I am branded with the symbol of this false god. (shows his forehead)
Martin (shocked): Murray!

-Tangent-

O'Neill: "Flight, this is Digger One. Cheyenne, we have a problem."

Teal'c: "There is little to say, O'Neill. We have fought and won many battles together. It has been an honor to serve the Tau'ri by your side. We are brothers."

Teal'c: "If we are to die, we die well. (begins meditation)"
O'Neill: "We could do better."

Daniel: "The great and powerful Oz."

O'Neill: "Flight. This is Digger 1 - we have negative nudging capabilities."

Jacob: "What the hell, I was in the neighborhood! You need a lift home?"

-The Curse-

O'Neill: "So, Carter, are you finally ready to take me up on that fishing trip?"
Carter: "Actually, sir, I have a few projects undergo."
O'Neill: "Oh come on. Are you really trying to tell me you'd rather work in a dark dang dismal underground than sit on a dock with your feet perched up sipping a cold one and casting for that ever elusive crabby?"
Carter: "Strange as it may sound, sir, yes. Have a good time."

Daniel: "Now, I'd be careful if I were you. For all we know it could be some sort of Goa'uld booby trap left behind by Osiris as a means of revenge. Also it's... it's cursed."
Carter: "Thanks for the warning."

Teal'c (fishing with O'Neill): "There appears to be no fish here O'Neill." 
O'Neill: "Teal'c, its not about the fish themselves, the fish are not important in this context, its about fish-ing. The act of fishing itself."
Teal'c: "I see."

O'Neill (hearing a ringing and looking at Teal'c): "You didnt?"
Teal'c (taking out cell phone): "By request of General Hammond."

O'Neill (answering irritably): "What!?" (Teal'c slaps a mosquito)

Teal'c (to Daniel on phone): "I would be more then happy to return to the SGC..."
Daniel: "No thats alright"
Teal'c: "Are you certain"

-Serpent's Venom-

Carter: "Which way is blue?"
Daniel: "It's a good question." 
Carter: "Okay, clockwise is blue."

Carter: "Uh... it's flashing green. Green is good?"
Daniel: "No."
Carter: "Bad." 
Daniel: "Bad." 
Carter: "How bad?"
Daniel: "Very very bad." 
Carter: "Dad!" 

Carter: "We tried! What does Selmak say?"
Jacob: "Try again."

-Chain Reaction-

Hammond: "Let me just say it's been a pleasure serving with all of you."

O'Neill: "So, essentially we were ambushed on our way back to the Gate."
Carter: "We almost didn't make it out."
Hammond: "If you delayed much longer, you wouldn't. I was about to close the iris."

-2010-

Carter: "So this is the place you kept threatening to take me. It's good to see you, sir."
O'Neill: "I'm retired, Carter. Lose the sir."

Daniel: "Guys, I think it would be public knowledge if something this catastrophic was happening to the entire population."

Carter: "Maybe we can. Take it back."
Daniel: "How?"
Carter: "General Hammond showed us."
Daniel: "He left us a note." 
Frasier: "What? What are you talking about?"
Carter: "A number of years ago a freak accident sent us back to 1969. We know that by dialling coordinates there precisely on the opposite side of the Sun at the exact moment of the solar flare it causes the wormhole to turn back towards Earth on itself and it creates time distortion. Now, theoretically, we could send ourselves a message."
Daniel: "Wait a second, I thought you said it was impossible to predict the exact moment of the solar flare."
Carter: "For us, yes, it was. But with the access to the Aschen computer--"
Frasier: "Okay, wait a second here. We're considering changing the lives of the entire human race on Earth. Do we have that right?"
Carter: "If we don't, then we will live to see the end of the entire human race on Earth."

O'Neill: "You're not happy with the way things turned out?! I'm sorry to hear that. Personally, I like the things the way they are. No more saving the world, just nice pond with no pesky fish in it and the single most pressing issue in my life is whether or not to get a dog. There are a lot of pros and cons to consider."
Carter: "Jack, I'm talking about the future of a human race."

O'Neill: "Just out of curiosity, say we do this. What happens to everything that's happened in the past 10 years?"
Carter: "It won't happen."

Carter: "We send a message through the Stargate to ourselves 10 years ago. We stop this from ever happening."

Tour Guide Woman: "Guess what special room is on this floor?"
Boy: "The Gate Room!"
Tour Guide Woman: "Very very close...anyone else?"
Daniel (in hat and sunglasses): "He's right...its the gateroom."
Tour Guide Woman: "What I'm sure most of you don't know is that officially it was called the (making quote motion with fingers) 'embarkation room'  (Carter and Daniel give her funny look) because that's where the SG teams 'embarked' from."

O'Neill (mocking the tour guide woman) "...and were walking..."

Carter (in present time after note comes thru the stargate, to O'Neill): "I wonder why you sent it. Wonder when."

-Absolute Power-

O'Neill: It's just wind. Wind happens. 

Daniel: "The alien we encountered on Kheb, Mother Nature."
Carter: "Guess that explains the tornado."

O'Neill: "Because they think you're nuts!"

-The Light-

Carter: "Okay, if you don't want to tell me what the bet is, that's fine."

Carter: "Oh I did, but Daniel says that... That was the bet? Whether or not I'd go? Don't you have anything better to do?"

O'Neill: "Carter, what are we looking at here?"
Carter: "It doesn't seem to be giving off any detectable radiation other than visible light. I think it's just... decorative."

O'Neill: "Carter!! You're in withdrawal!"
Carter: "Oh...I'm in withdrawal?!"

-Prodigy-

Carter (to cadet Haley): "Maybe because that's what it is. An intriguing idea. But it's based on way too many unfounded assumptions to make a valid theory. For example, you assume that matter can travel both ways through an open wormhole."

Carter: "Cadet, I'd like to ask you a few questions. Answer honestly."
Haley: "Yes, ma'am."
Carter: "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Carter: "You'll see. What you're about to see is probably the best-kept secret in the world."
Haley: "You're making me nervous."
Carter: "Good. Because from this point on everything you thought you knew about the universe is about to be turned upside down. Ready?"

Teal'c: "Good luck, O'Neill." 
O'Neill: "Wish me luck."
Carter: "Good luck, sir." 

-Entity-

Hammond:" What's it doing?"
Carter: "Flying, sir."

Carter: "It's still here."
O'Neill: "What, the probe?" 
Carter: "Well, whatever it is. It must've been sustaining itself within our secondary systems while we were cleaning up the main computer."

O'Neill: "Forget to change the light bulb, Siler?"
Siler: "It's not my job, sir... The light bulb, yes, sir. Very amusing." 

Carter/Entity: "O'Neill?" 
O'Neill: "Thats right....and you are?" 
Carter/Entity: "I'm within. You are O'Neill." 
O'Neill: "Yeah. We've established that." 
Carter/Entity: "This one has memory of you." 
O'Neill: "The one you're talking about is a person. Her name is Major Samantha Carter."
Carter/Entity: "Then I am major."
O'Neill: "No. You're not." 
Fraiser: "We understand you've taken control of Major Carter, but you're not her."
Carter/Entity: "There was no other choice. No other place to go. You wished to terminate."
O'Neill: "Still do."
Carter/Entity: "But you will not. Not now. I have observed. You value the life of this one." 
O'Neill: "Yes, we do." 
Carter/Entity: "This one is important." 
O'Neill: "She is." 
Carter/Entity: "For this reason this one was chosen. You will not terminate this one in order to destroy me."
Fraiser: "It went into Sam for self-preservation." 
Carter/Entity: "I cannot be removed from the mind of this one without terminating. You will not terminate this one. None of you will. Therefore I will survive."

Carter/Entity: "Transmission was interrupted. If I had been able to complete transmission, you would have been destroyed. My world would have been preserved."
Daniel: "Well, in a way you succeeded. We won't go back there. You can repair the damage we did and we won't send any more probes through."
O'Neill: "Yes, we will." 
Daniel: "Jack?"
O'Neill: "We'll send dozens of probes. One after another. I don't care what it does." 
Carter/Entity: "No.:
O'Neill: "Leave her. Now." 
Carter/Entity: "You won't." 
O'Neill: "You've read my file. Think again." 
Carter/Entity: "I must preserve." 
Daniel: "Jack..." 
O'Neill: "Daniel! We're gonna do this my way!" 
Carter/Entity: "You can't."
O'Neill: "General?" 
Hammond: "You're damn right we can." 
Carter/Entity: "No, please." 
O'Neill: "Leave her." 
Carter/Entity: "I must preserve." 

O'Neill: "Hey, Carter. Where have you been?" 
Carter: "It's gone?"
Hammond: "Yes, it is." 
Carter: "I was shouting, for you to hear."
O'Neill: "We heard."

-Double Jeopardy-

Carter: "It says 'Comtrya'"

Teal'c: "It was a greeting used by the artificial life form Harlan on P3X-989."
Hammond: "The one who duplicated you?"
O'Neill: "Yes, sir, please don't open the Gate. Please." 
Carter: "I admit he was annoying, but he wasn't a serious threat." 

Harlan: "They were not happy. They could not stop being you."

Teal'c Double (after killing Chronus who was about to kill the real Teal'c): "For our father."

O'Neill Double ( dying, to the real O'Neill): "Carter and Teal'c?"
O'Neill: "Yours don't look so good, the real ones, they're ok."
O'Neill Double: "Are we still so far from real to you?"
O'Neill: "No, I guess not."
O'Neill Double: "Then I will leave, we are done."

-Exodus-

Jacob: "We wanna blow it up"

Jacob: "We take the Stargate on the mother ship and bring it as close to the sun as we can. Then we dial the black hole, enclose the Gate in the force field and jettison it."

Carter: "Sir... this solar system is completely abandoned and barren. Apophis's fleet is on the way. We may never have another opportunity like this again."

Jacob: "The stargate just entered the sun"

Carter: "What just happened?"
Jacob: "We must've caught the tail end of the blast wave... it knocked us off course."
Carter: "Sir, where is Teal'c?"
O'Neill: "I'm not sure. I think he's dead." 
Jacob: "If Apophis has him..." 
Carter: "Well, we have to go back!" 
Jacob: "That may not be possible, Sam. The navigational computer isn't recognizing any of the star patterns. According to these readings, we've traveled over 4 million light years."
Carter: "That's impossible!"
Jacob: "We're not even in our own galaxy anymore."

Enemies-

O'Neill: "He's looking a little pissed."
Carter: "We did just destroy his fleet."

Jacob: "The good news is that we won't show up on anyone else's sensors. The bad news is that our sensors will be blocked as well."
Carter: "So when we're ready to go, we won't know if someone's out there waiting for us."

O'Neill: "I distinctly remember someone saying, 'We're not gonna make it!' I think we made it.."
Jacob: "I'm sorry. I overreacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren't going make it."
O'Neill: "Yes, well... maybe next time you'll just wait and see."
Jacob: "And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?"
O'Neill: "What?"
Carter: "Welcome to my life."

Carter: "Sir, I really hate to sound negative. But I think it's pretty safe to say that without a little more insight into how these things actually work I've got pretty much zero chance of hitting... okay, maybe not zero."

O'Neill: "That's a big bug!"

-Threshold-

O'Neill: "So you've done this before?"
Bra'tac: "Twice in my 137 years."

Bra'tac: "Humans concern themselves too much with pain."

Carter: "You believe in freedom, Teal'c. You believe in justice. In protecting people from false gods. You despise everything Apophis was."

Daniel: "Woman? Did he just call me a woman?"

-Ascension-

Hammond: "Major, I have no doubt that you technical expertise will be required at some point down the line. But until Dr Fraiser advises otherwise, I'm ordering you to take it easy."
Carter: "Take it easy?"
O'Neill: "Yeah. You've been a little tense."
Carter: "Tense? Me? I'm not tense... Am I?... When did you first notice?"
O'Neill: "As we met."
Carter: "I've always just thought of myself as very focused."

O'Neill: "Well, find something. Take up... golf. Fly kite. Knit something."

O'Neill: "We brought pizza and a movie."
Teal'c: "Star Wars." 
O'Neill: "He's seen it what... 8 times?" 
Teal'c: "Nine." 
O'Neill: "Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay."
Carter: "You've never seen Star Wars?"
O'Neill: "Oh, you know me and sci-fi. Come on, we never get to just hang out, so I thought we..."

Orlin: "I won't hurt you."
Carter: "No, I'll hurt you if you come any closer."

Teal'c: "I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-O."

-The Fifth Man-

Daniel: "What do you mean who's Lt. Tyler? He's a member of SG-1."

Teal'c: "Perhaps General Hammond is correct. Perhaps there is something wrong with us."

Carter: "My access code isn't working. They must've decided that we're a security risk and locked us out."
Daniel: "So you can't get in?"
Carter: "I didn't say that."

Lt. Tyler: "I'm not one of your people."
O'neill: "Could have fooled me...actually you did fool me."

Lt. Tyler (to O'Neill): "Maybe then you can take me fishing."

-Red Sky-

Carter: "Somehow the light spectrum of the sun has shifted towards the infrared. Now, if it continues this way, all the green plant will die. If the plants go, the oxygen supply..."
O'Neill: "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Carter: "I've got a theory, sir."
O'Neill: "Is it miraculous?"

Carter: "Sir, we bypassed some of the normal dialing protocols. The fact is, this planet is dying and it's probably because of us."

Carter: "Sir? If I may?"
O'Neill: "Yeah. Knock yourself out."

Daniel: "Little gray butts...?"

O'Neill: "I have great confidence in you, Carter. Go on back to the SGC and confuse Hammond."

-The Rite of Passage-

Cassandra: "Dominic's waiting."
Fraiser: "Fine! Invite him in. I'm sure he'd like to have a piece of the birthday cake that Sam went to all the trouble to... bake."
Carter: "Buy." 
Fraiser: "Bring." 

Daniel: "This place is what the initiation rite was all about. Children suffering from the mind fever wander into a forest, it gets dark, they are drawn to the handprint on the tree, the warm fire, and the rings sweep them to this lab."

Carter (to Cassandra): "So every other Saturday, at least while I'm on Earth, we play chess. And since I'm on Earth and it's Saturday..."

Cassandra: "I just... thought it. I thought I wanted a knight and it just... flew into my hand. Jack calls them horses."
Carter: "Yeah, well that's Colonel O'Neill for you."
Cassandra: "He always pretends he's not as smart as he really is."
Carter: "You know, if you take a close look, they really are horses."

-Beast of Burden-

Daniel: "They're using Unas as slaves. They've been inbreeding so long, they've become un-trainable. They needed new blood. They got Shaka, and they're not giving him up."

Teal'c: "I will not continue to do nothing."

O'Neill: "Daniel, I'm chained up in a mad man's barn..."

O'Neill: "Where's Teal'c?"
Carter: "Trying to be popular."

-The Tomb-

Carter: "It didn't decompose. This skeleton is covered in tiny teeth marks."
O'Neill: "Something ate this guy?"

Carter: "Colonel, we still need to find a way out of here."
Daniel: "Shouldn't we open this first, see if there's anyone home?"

Carter: "Sir, we've got a problem."
O'Neill: "We've got a lot of problems, Carter. Can you be a little more specific?"

-Between Two Fires-

Narim (to Carter): "I apologize for having to send that message the way I did. There were so many extra security forces around yesterday, I really didn't know who I could trust except you, of course."

Carter's voice (entering Narim's house): "Greetings, Narim. Welcome home. Atmospheric control is active. Shall I prepare a mid day meal for you and your guests?"
Narim: "No, thank you."
Carter: "Narim..."
Narim: "Yes, Samantha?" 
Carter: "Is that my voice?"

Jack: "Narim, would you get your head out of your ass?!?"

Narim: "My actions have forced my people in a battle we may very well loose. The least I could do is stay and fight with them."

-2001-

Hammond: "By the way, what do our new friends call themselves?"
Carter: "The Aschen, sir. Theyre called the Aschen."

Ambassador: "They made a star? How?"
Carter: "Well, theoretically, by increasing the density of a sufficiently massive gas giant until a thermonuclear reaction could take place. In fact, Arthur C. Clarke posited a"
O'Neill: "Ambassador, you gotta be careful about the use of the word how', unless you really wanna know."

Molum: "What is the current population of Earth?"

Carter: "By the way, Boron would you read this aloud for me? I couldnt quite translate it."
Boron: "Of course. Sterility."
Carter: "We knew what you were planning, Molum. This just confirms it."
Boron: "What are you talking about?"
Carter: Vaccine causes sterility. That was the headline. You wiped out most of the Volian population and turned their entire world into farmland. Youd do the same to Earth."
Molum: "Lock them in here. We have a treaty to conclude."
Carter: "If we dont come back alive, the treaty is off!"

-Desperate Measures-

Conrad (to Carter): "You have a very unique individual. You may well hold the key to the future of medical science."

Carter: "Who are you? What the hell am I doing here?!"

Carter: "I dont care whats wrong with you, nothing gives you the right..."

O'Neill: "You all right?"
Carter: "Yeah. Very dramatic. Thank you."

Carter: "Sir, are you okay?"
O'Neill: "Ive been shot, Carter."

O'Neill: "I cant believe the son of a bitch shot me!"

-Wormhole X-treme-

Daniel: "Well, that looked... familiar."
O'Neill: "I dont see it."
Carter: "And Martin is involved in this?"

Carter: "Wait a minute, this guy looks familiar."
Daniel: "You were right. Thats one of Tanners men."
Carter: "Well, according to this, hes a production assistant named Steve Austin. Then wed better pay Steve a little visit."

Actor playing Daniel ... Dr Lavett: "Dammit colonel just because they're aliens and their skulls are transparent, doesn't mean that they don't have rights!"

Hammond: "In the event of a future breech of security, well be able to point to this television program...that is if it stays on the air."

Hammond: "Colonel, your 'Wormhole X-treme's' new Air Force consultant"

Martin: "You think aliens eat apples?"
Prop guy: "Why not, they speak English"

O'Neill (to actor playing himself): "Oh yea, you don't want to be a target out there...in space."

Martin: "I'm not leaving colonel!" (O'Neill drags him off camera)
Martin: "Ok maybe I am"

-Proving Ground-

Lieutenant Elliot: "Drop your weapon Major!"
Carter (in goa'uld voice): "Daniel's become a goa'uld."
Daniel: "She's the goa'uld, listen to her voice."
Lieutenant Elliot: "Major, drop that weapon!"
Carter (in goa'uld voice): "I'm Tok'ra, now listen carefully, Daniel has become a goa'uld, we need to get him back to the SGC.
Daniel: "Lets hit it, she's already shot me once with that thing, if she shoots me again..."
Lieutenant Elliot: "Drop it Major now!" 
*Grogen shoots Carter with stun gun
Lieutenant Elliot: "Grogen what the hell was that?"
Grogen: "She was going to shoot Dr. Jackson, Lt. Two shots with a zat kills."
Daniel (in goa'uld voice): "She was right about one thing Lt. she's the Tok'ra, I'm the goa'uld." (shoots them all)
O'Neill: "Ook, were all dead and there's an armed goa'uld on the loose, I've got a problem with that, anyone else got a problem with that...think it over. Report to the ready line in twenty minutes. Dismissed."
Daniel (still in goa'uld voice): "Aren't you being a little hard on them?"
O'Neill: "Will you turn that thing off?!"

O'Neill: "Forgive my bluntness Lieutenant, but I was just about to fail you, I'm not sure I want your help."

Lieutenant Elliot: "Haley figured the goa'uld markers in your blood, wouldn't allow you to be influenced by goa'uld designed nano-technology."
Carter: "Lucky me."

Carter: "Whooops"

O'Neill (giving Carter a look, after being shot with stun gun): "Colonel O'Neill has been compromised..."

Carter (to O'Neill): "Sir, if you don't mind, your wound is getting all over my lab."

-48 Hours-

Daniel: "That's gate travel 101."

Carter: "Sir, are you ok?"
O'Neill: "Oh, couple stitches, concussion, nausea, dizziness, the usual."

McKay (to cook): "Is there lemon on the chicken?"
Cook: "Its lemon chicken."
McKay: "So it is. I am mortally allergic to citrus, one drop of lemon and I could die."

Carter (to McKay): "Go suck a lemon."

O'Neill (to Maybourne): "You rat bastard! I'm so gonna kick your ass!!"

McKay: "I'm on the Air Force payroll, I report directly to the chief of staff."
Carter (sarcastically): "Ah, well that changes everything..."

Carter (to McKay): "Now what we need to do is establish an event horizon without the vortex."
McKay: "That's impossible."
Carter: "I've seen it done before."
McKay: "What by magical faerie beings..."

Teal'c: "I have my revenge, Tanith is dead."

O'Neill: "Hey, you sure you want to be in there for this?"
Siler: "No, not really sir."
O'Neill: "I wasn't talking to you."
Carter: "Sir if the gate blows up, it won't matter where we are on the base."

O'Neill (to Siler): "Shake it off sparky."

McKay (to Carter): "You are a certifiable wack job, and your (pointing to Hammond) no better if you listen to her."

Hammond (to McKay): "Your plane leaves for Russia in an hour."
McKay: "Russia?"
Hammond: "Your new assignment is to supervise the development of Russia's Naquada Generator Program."
McKay: "I'm not going to Russia, do you know what the food is like in Russia? Besides I'm a civilian, I don't have to do what you say."
Carter (making face): "Well as long as your on the Air Force payroll...."
McKay: "Oh this....this really sucks" (runs out of room)

-Fail Safe-

O'Neill: "I've seen this movie, it strikes Paris."

Carter: "Otherwise, in 11 days and 16 hours, all life on Earth will be wiped out."

Daniel: "Let's just say Jack made a reference to Freyr's mother."

Daniel: "Big asteroid problem here."

O'Neill: "Hey kids, how ya feeling?"
Daniel: "Oh not bad under the circumstances."
Carter: "Sir, I don't think we should leave yet."
Daniel (to O'Neill): "Don't look at me, something to do with....gravity....or something...."

O'Neill: "Aah, come on, we came, we saw, we planted a bomb, we had a little fun with a meteor shower, we went home, its a great story."

Carter: "I was right."
Daniel: "This could be a problem."
Teal'c: "Indeed."
O'Neill: "I don't want to hear it."

Daniel: "We're dammed if we do, were dammed if we don't, we need other options..."

O'Neill: "Plan 3, works every time."

-Summit (part 1)-

O'Neill: "Its always suicide mission this, save the planet that...no one ever stops by to just say hi anymore."

Carter: "No joking?"
O'Neill: "Funny."

Daniel: "Assuming I make it on the space station, what next?"
Renol: "You will wait until all the systems lords have arrived, then you will use this (pulls out a small vial) these two liquids mixed together form a most virulent poison. Press the button to open the valve between the two containers, the liquid will immediately be vaporized and in seconds the pressure will break the seal on the container and the gas will be released."
Daniel: "What...am I supposed to hold my breath?"

Aldwin: "Are you interesting in Tok'ra engineering?"
O'Neill: "Oh, interested doesn't quite describe how I truly feel."
Aldwin: "Your welcome to join us."
O'Neill: "Thank you Aldwin, but I have to go help Teal'c...wait...for Daniel..."

Renol: "We will die before we give up our secrets."
O'Neill: "You know, we really should come up with a new strategy, one that does not include us dying."